Seeking Abigail…

There are times in my life when I look back and cringe.. all be it at some point I can laugh at my mistakes.. it can take a while…

I appear to be having a lot of these experiences recently on my journey to ‘know  myself better!’ and to ‘grow into a more mature, wiser, loving being’.

Around six months ago I was told that my life would get very tough. That all the parts of me that didn’t belong to me would begin to change, transform and that it was a great time of transistion.. I took it well. The message was repeated.. three times over the coming months by different sources, astrologically, psychically and intuitively with the promise of November being the end of that particular journey. ‘How hard could it be?’ I told myself.. Changing old patterns.. becoming real.. being stripped of illusions… And then it started…

The best way to liken it, is to compare it to having yourself dumped into a huge food blender and being put on high speed… My entire world was turned upside down, inside out and universally spat out in little pieces with me clinging on to everything I knew for grim death… ahh… the ego, how it loves to interfere.. My ego, as  I have discovered is very stubborn with an award winning oscar for denial and resistance..

From my own personal experience  this is the wisdom and insight I have gained so far…

Do step out of your own way.. surrender, let go and know that what is going to come out of the ‘experience’ is pure truth, wisdom and a higher way of being… It may not feel like it at the time though…

Know that hanging on to  old ways of being are just an attempt to stay unconscious and if the Universe has decided to ‘re-organise’ that then you are in for a rollar coaster ride..

Know that as you are being re-arranged and re-constructed you may feel that you are going insane.. possibly bi-polar with a touch of schizophrenia…

Do not enter into a new relationship at this time… it enhances the bi-polar part and inevitably doesn’t end well…  with hindsight it would make more sense to wait for the storm to pass…

When spinning out of control.. retreat, breathe, allow it to pass and stay free of reacting from the ‘spinning’ place. All decisions made without the wisdom of the heart only hurt and cause more chaos than good.

know that like any challenge it is only temporary and that as you shift so does your reality and that what lies underneath the surface is purity, truth, love and a life that is truely greater than you can possibly imagine… The Universe really does want the best for you in every way and know that at every given moment you are being the very best that you can be with the tools you were given on this bizarre planet of human beings learning to love…

Be very careful of the company you keep… Those that claim to help may be doing more damage than good… If something or someone doesn’t feel right that is because it isn’t.

And last but not least.. forgive yourself for your mistakes… Go easy on yourself -  and learn to love yourself with grace and compassion. You are divine – It’s just your the last one to realise. The joke is always on You!

It isn’t always easy but it is rewarding… roll on November – November I love you and October.. Thank you.. My feet slowly appear to be landing back on the ground and day by day I feel a little bit stronger, a little bit wiser and everything begins to make more and more sense..

You are and will always be far greater than you could possibly imagine.. Don’t give up on who you are, your dreams, hopes and ideals.. You are the creator and master of your own reality and when things go wonky it’s only so that when you re-align those dreams, hopes and ideals are closer, larger and more magnificent than anything you could have imagined before…

Know that you are loved. you are love and that love is always around you.. dream big and live hard!

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